First in Not Last Out

Not sure that anyone's been bitten by a leach. Supposedly once they get their grip going they suck till the last drop or drown from drinking too much blood. Only way to get them of be to burn them

Well me has gone and burned the bloody leaches at site of me skin finally. For now atleast. Hopefully it can be made permanent. Only time will tell. Next need to find a way to get the other leaches off.

in your face turds...I'm still Alive.

Horse Racing

Annual ratings nikla? Thats (and its variations in other languages) all that I've been hearing the past few weeks at work. So finally they are out

Highest rating mila?

Acha, to kya karega?

Wohi hamaal giri?

Mast hai...

What difference the ratings make is a mystery. Only thing that they really seem to be doing is bolster your diminishing ego.

They should start a sweepstakes to see who gets what. The unpredictability will atleast provide more fun than our glorious cricket team...

On the Gravy Train...

You know when people say that there is a presence about a place...what do you call the opposite of that feeling? Things are just going as normal...then suddenly out of the blue.. you are hit with the feeling that there is something missing...call it the Absence?

Had the absence kind of feeling yesterday...was on my way back ...reach Sion....suddenly things seem different...seems much quiter...a eerie sort of silence ..like someone has flicked a switch which kicked in a filter to block out certain frequencies.. was wondering for a few minutes what the crap was going on...then it kicked in..all the fans in the compartment had gone off..amazing how that subtle drop in background noise can affect you..

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At the other end of the decibel counter are the morons at Dadar hawking away...Was sprinting from western to the central side at 1 in the morning the other day to catch the last train when this idiot with a megaphone (for real) gets in my way brandishing a book..."Hare Krishna! Why dont you buy the Bhagvad Gita?"

If I had the time I would have asked him why doesnt he shove that megaphone down his windpipe...Wanted to ask him whether he was bloody blind or he could not see tht there were a sum total of ten ppl on the bridge..and not one in the mood to listen to him..What really stuns me is that the guy actually expected me to stop

Well its appraisal time ... looks like god needs to meet targets...

And did we tell you the name of the game, boy,
we call it Riding the Gravy Train.

Reminiscences

Nine months back to the day I was sitting in Bangalore airport after missing me flight contemplating whether me should go back and get me shoes...looking at the line for check in i decided that i would leave them there...thinking where they going to go in a couple of months...got onto a propeller aircraft with me two pieces of hand luggage and made my way over

Well...lets hope they are still there...without any cockroaches/mice/frogs etc in them. Meanwhile i have learnt a few things here

• first and foremost a game called mail...this essentially involves people with highly inflated egos going for each others throats using e-mail. Rules of the game...only one...i am right you are wrong...grammar...non existent...the challenge...to find obscure reasons to blame the other ...or better yet..to push work on the other...everyone must take part...sadly...me wasnt much good at it

• you can give the AVP of the company an earful...only you willl get that back and more when your boss hears of it

• people have a far more extensive vocabulary than you would ever expect..especially when they realise that a mistake has happened

• it is great fun having a go at vendors...especially when you yourself represent one and the other has no clue what you are on about...you can claim that your operations are based out of Outer Mongolia and charge extra for whale oil to heat the place and get away with it

Now let me go check if someone has got a thesis out on the decomposition of leather

Run...Forest...Runnn...

Saw this video after a long time the other day...that got me thinking...has anyone attempted a full speed sprint across the main bridge at Dadar at say 11 am? Is it even possible?

Me is willing to pay for lunch for anyone who manages to get from one end of the thing to the other in 15s ... the only thing...is you'll have to find me to get the lunch if you do manage to..

Lost arts...

A friend of mine sent me to this site which has a pretty intersting theme to it...the world cup in ascii art..

Got home and later in the night our good friend google throws up this...where i find this...some people really have way too creative minds with tooo much free time on their hands...

spectacular...visit...especially if you are absolutely pakaoed and at work...

It got dark...

...and darker still....till it was night...

Then...at the precise moment when me stepped out to have dinner...the
sky came tumbling down...not exactly...but it did start pouring..

Seemed like the gods had decided to to take out their frustration on
me...each time me was not under cover it poured...walking from office
to lower parel station...station to home...end result one very
drenched me by the time he gets home...

Hell...who cares...its been a while since me got meself
drenched...anyone has a football...or better yet...a frisbee?

A different world

Actually left work while there was still some natural light about yesterday...Got on a fast back from Dadar...lost track of the stations passing by and realised i'd missed my stop only when i reached Thane...so back we go

Coming out at my station...me's initially not sure whether i've gotten of at the right place...loads of ppl abt, the shops all open and brightly lit...totally disoriented...somehow managed to get back home

looks like you dont need hash...altering timings is enough...

Pitter-patter

Woke up the other day and couldnt believe it was 8....nce and thought it was the sunrise..checked clock and got up...opened blinds to see a cloudy day...with promise of rain..and it did...in the afternoon

Been sitting in a mill..Modified redone and all that...but without any false roofing etc....suddenly it goes all dark..and hear this massive sound....look up see the rain through the skylight...the sound...closest i can think of is possibly a bass drum on reverb...

I wonder how the chaps who used to work here earlier used to do there
work with the machines and the noise in the monsoons

So its women's day...

....That explains why me day has gone to the dogs....

Ended up having a three and half hour conference call with ppl at work starting yest midnight.....follow that up with reaching work early and leaving late.....

Ok I got cake at work out of it....an altogether wonderful day...

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I got fire....I got fire...

The week just gone by....

Monday morning get up a bit late...was supposed to go in in the
morning....was leaving home at 830....when i get call....where the
crap are you....get work as soon as possible..listen to the
pm...put mobile in pocket...get on bus...get off bus...check
pockets...no mobile...

Tuesday.....miracle happens....i reach work before 9....am dazed for
the rest of the day

Wednesday...reach at around 930...go have breakfast...come back..see
mail from PM asking to meet her...go thinking i'm going to get crap
for not doing any work...sit down...she asks...how you feel about a 1
month...max two month stint in Bombay...me
thinking...huh...where did that come from...think abt for a
moment...then signed me own death warrant by saying yes....am told i
have to leave asap...if possible get there by tomorrow morning....put
in a travel request...get tickets to travel by the 9pm flight to
Bombay...am told this is a EMEA/ES project by the new PM who is in
Pune in the afternoon...leave work at 7....reach home at 830...chuck
my clothes into a bag...reach airport at 855...to b told that i
have missed flight....again...

This is where Thursday comes in...run around at the various airline
counters in Bangalore Airport...to be told that only Jet has a flight
by which i can even hope to get to Bombay in time for Thursday
morning...buy ticket....leave Bangalore at 12...reach bombay at
2...home at 230...sleep...and am of to Lower Parel at 9am....come home
i think at 1030...eat...sleep...

Friday...home....work...home...sleep...

Saturday...wait today is saturday right?
----------------------------------------
Guess who's back
Back again
Shady's back
Tell a friend

No longer...

Back to homeland....atleast for a few weeks...

Rant....Rant....Rant....

Sri Sri Ravishankar has decided to descend on this town....Him and his legions of followers....I land on Monday and the first thing i see as i am exiting the ariport is this desk set up to help 'devotees' ...behind them this massive hoarding ...4000 thousand buses have been engaged to pick and drop ppl...largest collection of musicians anyone has ever seen...over 2 lakh people attending his rally...

Now the question that comes to mind is....How many chutiya's are there in this world? Do you really need to go some hack to help clear your mind...wont just five minutes sitting and thinking calmly help you?...NO....it has to be packaged and branded as some shitall course...the yuppies lap it all up...then the rest of the chutiya world take it up...

Whats with this town anyway....last year Benny Hinn...this year this idiot...next year who? Osama? thats probably the only way the yanks will catch him....

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On a side note, got on the pubilc bus(one the few that werent drafted for the grand rally) to get to work today...the crowd dwindles...and there right acrross the aisle...there be this chap with a kid in his hands...not bacha type kid....but the goats offspring types...i cant remember ever seeing a dog/cat in a BEST bus...cows all over the road and cattle in the busses...where am i? Lalooland?

12° 8' N 77° 37' E

me...bangalore...booo...hiss...

not really

18° 56' N 72° 51' E

Me....bombay...home...yay

Moo Tales....

An IAS candidate once wrote:

He is the cow. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is four footed. And because he is female, he give milks, but will do so when he is got child. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.....(full text here)

I just wonder...has this person been charged at by one of the species while standing in the middle of nowhere? Was waiting for the bus to come the other day when i see this blasted cow decide that it likes the look of the grass on this side of the road. From its warped perspective the grass must have seemed to be on the move...so it decides that it must charge accross before it gets away...Me just stands there thinking 'Hmmm...i should move out the way...'as it charges past... what i want to know is how something that size dont get hit while going for a blind charge...me feels inspired...maybe me should try it sometime...probability must favour me...

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Another day...was going to get on the bus to get to work...this is when this blasted cow that was lounging nearby decides that just has to sit in front of bus door...should i read that as an omen? an animal as sacred as a cow is blocking my way to work....who am i to challenge the Gods...

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You Holy Cow
The telegraph pole knows where
It knows where you live
You Holy Cow
I'll get it to take me there
And shout abuse at your window

No....I aint stoned...

And its 1...

...year since i came to this town...

While coming back home the day before I went for one of me random walks...walking from Palace Grounds...thought I'd get to Shivaji Nagar and get some transport from there onward home..

Walking...I suddenly realise i dont know where the crap I am...and this being Bangalore there is not a soul on the bloody road after 10 to ask for directions...unless you count the dogs...but sadly cant communicate with dogs...so just continue walking in what I think is the general direction that I want to take...15 fifteen minutes gone...there must be something that I recognise...five minutes later...wokay...where shit am I...go on...a fork in the road..now what...ah theres a bank up there..it'll tell me the area i'm in...Miller Road...where the f%#k is that..screw it just take the right fork...10 mins later a police station...Bharathi Nagar police chowky...what...follow the road...get to a crossroads...praise the lord...there's an empty rick ..make sure that he aint out to fleece me..give him directions...rick starts...100m on I pass the hotel where I had stayed when I first came here last year.

Coincidence or what.

Random Thoughts

Well

Its more than a year to the day since many of us got our marching orders to various places round the country...in some of our cases only to be booted of some place else...or back to where we came from...looking back....the wild haggling for a swap seems like madness...but its all done and burried.

This day last year was the last day of training for many of us...remember that we found out that it was Pusalkar's birthday and some of us Infy ppl ended up running around the campus trying to catch him and give him bumps...come to think of it...did we?

So its one year of being a full fledged "Professional"....now what does it feel like?

To me...nothing...no sense of accomplishing anything...just plodded along doing just about what needs to be done when the time came. All the talk of meeting life head on and similar crap just seems to be a load of bull. I really dont think that I am any different from what I was a year back....the same old slightly peeved slightly uncertain wierdo from Bombay

The next year begins....lets see whats in store for us....for atleast two it seems to be starting off rather well.....

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Dont know....but think this fits in here....

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, Thought I'd something more to say.

(c) Pink Floyd

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I know....probably not what most people wanted to read the first thing in the morning...but what the hell...

And no...I dont have suicidal tendencies....

A few more pics from Bangalore this time around here

Its a miracle

Well...went out to Madras two weekends back...saw the reports of rain and what not...but was still skeptical...was silently giving gaali's at the thought of eating dust on the trip there...then dehydrating to the extent of braking into the component amino acids...but NO...it had actually rained in the barren land...i cant say that it was cold...for the first time that I can remember there was no oppressive heat...you could actually sleep

And there was water coming out of the taps

Praise the rain gods....now....Stop for craps sake....

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Also a piece of advice...do not travel by rick at 6 in the morning in winter. Has been attempted twice...once in Pune last year and couple weeks back in Bangalore...surpirsed that me has not lost any limbs to frostbite...yet.

Wimps

One gets the feeling that Bangalore is filled with wimps....

It rained...rather drizzled all through the weekend....and the entry point to Hosur Road got flooded...So come yesterday morning when the horde was moving towards Electronic City they come across a 100 foot stretch of 2.5 feet of water..vehicles were diverted...some ppl ended up visting the National park on there way to office...

There were reports that it would rain again in the evening...so there was a mass evacuation of electronics city in the afternoon...rumours say that Wipro has given the rest of the week off....

Anyway....on the way back the 2.5 feet had reduced to 2 feet...but everyone got through....no rain...and thats that

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it's like you're waiting for a diamond shore to wash your way
bets put aside, you're evil
let's crawl into your face
a vision, vague or not, raising a frightful wake-you-up
time for...
evacuation
evacuation
evacuation