brrr

for the bare handful of men above, the officers and ratings on the bridge, it was pure undiluted hell. but a hell not of our latter-day imagining, a strictly eastern and biblical conception, but the hell of our ancient north-european ancestors, of the vikings, the danes, the jutes, of beowulf and the monster-haunted meres the hell of eternal cold.

true, the temperature registered a mere 10deg below zero, 42deg of frost. men have been known to live, even to work in the open, at far lower temperatures. what is not so well known, what is barely realised at all, is that when freezing point has been passed, every extra mile per hour of wind is equivalent, in terms of pure cold as it reacts on a human being, to a 1 deg drop in temperature.

HMS Ulysses
Alistair Maclean

Boy, did Alistair Maclean know what he was talking about. The temperature outside is around 5 deg C. But then there seems to be a gale force wind on. Atleast thats what is sounds like from all the howling of wind through unseeable gaps in the windows.

Add to that the idiot [looks at self] who doesn't believe in the cold and decides to go for a random walk in this weather woefully short of warm clothes. Two hours of it and ones extremities are nearly frostbitten. Then there is the return to warmth. The blood flows back to the external levels of the epidermis causing wierd tingling sensations. Come to think of it think there was something about that in HMS Ulysses as well.

Definitely need to search for some Maclean eBooks.

The walk was quite worth it too. Christmas finally adding some colour to this town.

Fire Fire Fire

Was walking to the station the other day on my way to work. There is this bank on the way. Just as I was passing by the money van had come in. And there was a security chap guarding the van. This guy was equipped with an SLR. All well and good.

Except the bloody thing didnt have a cartrige fitted on. Neither did he look like the  kung fu move making sort (tho one might have second thoughts after seeing Kung Fu Panda).

Are the banks so broke that they can't even provide adequate protection to money? I'm taking all my money out right this instant.

There. I have done my bit in closing down a few more banks and adding to the economic situation. Muhahahahahaha

Casper's Playground

Do not be the last person leaving your home for a long vacation. And definitely not in the monsoons.

I was left the enviable job of having to store things in such a manner that they would not rot under the onslaught of the moisture in the air. End result, the day before I was scheduled to leave everything in the house is under old sheets and drapes. Add to that, the crazy wind blowing through unseen gaps in the windows providing a chilling background score.

No. I am not to be blamed for the sidey spooky films that have been released recently. And yes, the place survived the monsoons

Going Under

I do not know how to swim.

However, the few times that I have ended with my head under water are brilliant enough to make me want to do it again. So for people like me there is either the kiddie pool or the bath tub. I choose the bath tub (preferring not to undergo more public humiliation than is necessary in life)

The moment you cross the boundary of one fluid to the other the world seems to completely change. All the sounds you hear when your head is above water are all suddenly drowned out. All you hear is your heart pumping blood to the brain. In case you leave only your nose above the water you can hear the rush of air to your lungs and back out. A complete sense of emptiness and peace. A few times in China I even thought I heard someone playing piano softly, quite likely a halucination brought on by the serenity.

This though, is completely contrary to when one was a kid. You used to splash about in your own private little pool, enacting some great sea battle using the soap/shampoo bottles and whatever else floats as submarines, frigates and battleships.

Two opposites. Both superb in their own way.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The less said about those crazy people competing in the swimming pool the better. Phelps is not human. That should be enough.

Terminal-ed

Welcome back to the Traveller's Tales. As it seems to happen towards the end of all my trips, my most recent transit experience goes wonky.

First week of June and me was all content and happy that I have a fixed return trip with no muck ups where I can screw up. Just to be doubly sure, me goes to the local HR chap on monday to see if my calculation of Saturday being the correct date for the expiry of my visa was correct or not. Me was quite confident that the date was correct seeing that I had arrived at the date using complex procedures involving the Oracle(TM) date function (No need to bore yourself wondering why I would do that)

Well, it seems I was wrong. Me complex procedures did not take into consideration the day I landed in the country. End result, all me superbly booked tickets are valid for a day on which I would in all likelyhood be arrested at immigration.

So begins the standard run around and get a ticket jamboree. Mail Monday to travel for a change in dates. Send out a reminder on Tuesday. Another in the evening. Call in on Wednesday morning. Am told to get in touch on Thursday. Like a dumbass that I still believe that I would get tickets for Friday. Thursday morning come in check my mail, no tickets. Call travel say all routes are overbooked. So thus begins the contemplation of alternatives, the brilliant idea that I would go and get immigration done on Friday night (as me flight was at 6AM in morning anyway) itself is shot down by the facilities I remember to have seen on arrival at the airport. No tickets till the evening. I resign myself to having give some gyaan about why i over stayed. Firday morning frantic call at 7:30 from the manager

Manager: "Are you out of the country?"
Me: "No."
Manager: "Get to office. Lets see what we can do."
Me: "OK"

So I reach work at 10AM. Get call from travel that they have ticket flying out to AMS for 1400 today but the connecting flight to BOM is only the next morning. I say can you get me an alternative route. Some more time wasting and travel comes back at 1045 saying this is the only ticket they can get. Without options me tells them to issue the tickets. Print it out, say bye to janta, run back home dunk all my luggage, have a bath and leave for the airport at 12.

Thus begins the 45 hours journey from Bucharest back to Bombay. Land in Amsterdam Friday evening. Just my luck, the hotel that is there within the airport terminal is undergoing renovation. So no rooms there. Also the dutch are not kind enough to issue on arrival visas. Would atleast have roamed about Amsterdam (Maybe would have ended up unknowingly getting hash into the country, but what the hell) So I end up with 16 hours of random roaming about the airport. Some 50 odd chinese janta also end up doing the same thing. End up dozing of on one of the reclining chairs hearing "Jig-a ,Mayo,Nihao-Ma" all around me.

Next morning get up and have breakfast and catch the bloody flight back. End up, sitting next to geriatric old woman who tells all her life's woes in a confessional and finally land in Bombay

Fun.

Can someone tell me the time?

So I experienced my first time shift. No, I wasnt moving at nearly the speed of light. Nor did I drop through a worm hole. Just the average twice in a year shift in time practised by most of the world for daylight savings.

It does screw about with your mind. I was actually up when the clocks shifted last saturday at 3AM. Was reading The Fountainhead. Just glanced at the clock on the toolbar. It was showing 4:05AM. I was sitting there scratching my head wondering how the hell it was past 4. Fountainhead is good. But not that good. Did I sleep while I was reading? Then the starter finally kicks in. Lets goo check the time on the mobiile. It also shows 4:05. Find an analog device. Ah! The watch. There its still 3:05. Amazed that MS had built this into Windows. And it actually worked. Woohoo.

I ain;t likly to be here when they shift the clocks back. I am getting cheated of my time. I want justice.....

Khutta Rakshash and other tales

Romania is famous for being the land of Vlad the Impaler, I say its the land off crazy dogs and dog lovers. There are all these wolf-like strays running around the streets of Bucharest (Yes, I am currently there). Every bloody house in the neighbourhood has a Canine

The other day, we were thrown out of our room for a couple of hours as there was supposed to be some meeting there. So me and and a few other people here went out for a little walk about. The random walking took us into this residential street. Quaint houses with small gardens and all that. Slowly the howling begins. However in the two weeks I have been here, I have got used to this. So we just continued walking up the street talking random crap. Towards the end of the street there is a fork off to the right, while there seems to be a left further up the road which should get us in the general direction we need to go. We stop for a moment at the fork pondering which way to go. After a few seconds we decide we'll go straight.

As soon as we step into the straight path, we here this HUGE roar two feet from us across the wall. All of us are jumping out of our skins and make for the fork as fast as we can. Turning around we see this massive outline of a dog on the other side of a two metre high wall.

Must have been a St Bernard... or as one of the other chaps put it ", Khutta kya? Woh to Khutta Rakshash ta."

The basic plotline for the next Stephen King novel? Maybe.

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The other night after leaving work late we went to tram stop across the road hoping to catch the last tram home. Waiting there in the freezing cold, a puppy comes up and starts roaming about in the general vicinity of my legs. After waiting some 10 mins we decide to go cross the road to get a cab. The pup near my feet all this while. So we cross the road and wait. I look down and who is to be seen there but the same pup. Shoo it away and it goes scurrying off across the road in between all the cars. Two minutes later its back near me and just refuses to move till we get into the cab and are on our way.

What is it? Do I smell like bacon or something. Looks like I finally need to get some deo.

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That Direction -->

A challenge

To all you macho footboard/window sill hanging peoples of Bombay, Eat your hearts out. The latest challenge in public transport - How to fit a body measuring 6' X 1'6" into a entrance 4' X 2' wide? While ten other people are attempting to do the same when the vehicle in motion.

I present the humble tum-tum. The tuk-tuk or seater as others know it. Lifeline for the late-getter uppers like me and the Indian countryside.

Thankfully no more of that for a few weeks atleast.

Frustrations of the software engineer

Transcript of convo on office messenger. Pardon the grammar. Also the masking of names. intellectual property and all that shite

SR [5:01 PM]:
i should have hidden in some corner of the banglore office
GS [5:01 PM]:
why?
SR [5:01 PM]:
then i would never have been roped into client A
GS [5:01 PM]:
hahhah
SR [5:01 PM]:
been two years now :’-(
SR [5:03 PM]:
but shouldnt say anything
SR [5:03 PM]:
you've been in client D for the same time
GS [5:03 PM]:
good relation na with client A :-)
GS [5:03 PM]:
Yes sir
SR [5:03 PM]:
dont need a wife
SR [5:03 PM]:
yet
GS [5:04 PM]:
need a wife
GS [5:04 PM]:
So i have to divorce client D
SR [5:04 PM]:
:-D

geeky IT dudes. We're so cool

This is an endorsement

There. i didn't lead you along.

Well lets see if unconventional advertising works. Shor Bazaar - Might be worth giving them a listen. You could then claim to be one of the original fans when they start raking in the moolah.

Enjoy

Townie

Running around Fort over the last two weekends and you realise how much you relate to that part of town. I moved out of South Bombay some five years ago. However every trip into 'town', as suburbia calls it, leaves you with a good feeling lasting a few days.

No, the town that I know is not the pseudo exotic bull image that people get while reading Shantaram. Yes, there are seedy places about on causeway, but there are seedy places everywhere.

It is the old world charm that you get in the area which is so appealing. The walk from Gateway to Radio Club, sunset at Marine Drive while seated near the Oberoi, roaming around Fort, going up rickety staircases to obscure offices that pay Rs 20 bucks as rent while raking in thousands, the unknown side roads on Mohammed Ali Rd, Kalbadevi Rd. all brilliant.

Then there are monstrosities that the Brits have left us. VT, the buildings along the Oval, Fort as a whole. To me, the ideal picture is one taken from the one end of the Oval, getting the Institute of Science, the University and the High Court in the night when it is all lit up.

Was inside GPO last week. The tall dome, the lazy uncles and aunties at the counters...there is a charm to it. Unlike all us morons in the IT industry staring away at PC screens pretending to work while orkutting. Bah... ended up spoiling a nostalgia post with that. (Follow link...mind blowing video)

Perspective

You'd never think that something as simple as changing glasses would make that much difference. Have changed four cheshmas in the last week. The original one broke, was using a my earlier ones, then got one to get around my blindness and finally got the new pair yesterday

Each change gives a surreal different view. People not wearing glasses will never understand the subtle differences brought about in vision while shifting from one pair to another. Learnt long time ago to not complain to the optician - else be prepared for lamba kahani (Probably came from getting glasses from bawa uncles.) Most of the change comes in the corner of the eye type vision, but even then it is very disconcerting. The best comparison that I can think of is looking through a glass tube. Straight vision fine, the corners all wonky.

Remember the last time I changed glasses. The first day after getting them i was running to catch a train at the station. Misjudged the height of a ledge i tried skipping over, caught my toe just at the corner and ended up sprawled on the platform in peak hour traffic.

No more locals currently, but wierd things could still occur. For now, I got sight! I got sight!