Can someone tell me the time?

So I experienced my first time shift. No, I wasnt moving at nearly the speed of light. Nor did I drop through a worm hole. Just the average twice in a year shift in time practised by most of the world for daylight savings.

It does screw about with your mind. I was actually up when the clocks shifted last saturday at 3AM. Was reading The Fountainhead. Just glanced at the clock on the toolbar. It was showing 4:05AM. I was sitting there scratching my head wondering how the hell it was past 4. Fountainhead is good. But not that good. Did I sleep while I was reading? Then the starter finally kicks in. Lets goo check the time on the mobiile. It also shows 4:05. Find an analog device. Ah! The watch. There its still 3:05. Amazed that MS had built this into Windows. And it actually worked. Woohoo.

I ain;t likly to be here when they shift the clocks back. I am getting cheated of my time. I want justice.....

Khutta Rakshash and other tales

Romania is famous for being the land of Vlad the Impaler, I say its the land off crazy dogs and dog lovers. There are all these wolf-like strays running around the streets of Bucharest (Yes, I am currently there). Every bloody house in the neighbourhood has a Canine

The other day, we were thrown out of our room for a couple of hours as there was supposed to be some meeting there. So me and and a few other people here went out for a little walk about. The random walking took us into this residential street. Quaint houses with small gardens and all that. Slowly the howling begins. However in the two weeks I have been here, I have got used to this. So we just continued walking up the street talking random crap. Towards the end of the street there is a fork off to the right, while there seems to be a left further up the road which should get us in the general direction we need to go. We stop for a moment at the fork pondering which way to go. After a few seconds we decide we'll go straight.

As soon as we step into the straight path, we here this HUGE roar two feet from us across the wall. All of us are jumping out of our skins and make for the fork as fast as we can. Turning around we see this massive outline of a dog on the other side of a two metre high wall.

Must have been a St Bernard... or as one of the other chaps put it ", Khutta kya? Woh to Khutta Rakshash ta."

The basic plotline for the next Stephen King novel? Maybe.

============================================

The other night after leaving work late we went to tram stop across the road hoping to catch the last tram home. Waiting there in the freezing cold, a puppy comes up and starts roaming about in the general vicinity of my legs. After waiting some 10 mins we decide to go cross the road to get a cab. The pup near my feet all this while. So we cross the road and wait. I look down and who is to be seen there but the same pup. Shoo it away and it goes scurrying off across the road in between all the cars. Two minutes later its back near me and just refuses to move till we get into the cab and are on our way.

What is it? Do I smell like bacon or something. Looks like I finally need to get some deo.

============================================

That Direction -->

A challenge

To all you macho footboard/window sill hanging peoples of Bombay, Eat your hearts out. The latest challenge in public transport - How to fit a body measuring 6' X 1'6" into a entrance 4' X 2' wide? While ten other people are attempting to do the same when the vehicle in motion.

I present the humble tum-tum. The tuk-tuk or seater as others know it. Lifeline for the late-getter uppers like me and the Indian countryside.

Thankfully no more of that for a few weeks atleast.

Frustrations of the software engineer

Transcript of convo on office messenger. Pardon the grammar. Also the masking of names. intellectual property and all that shite

SR [5:01 PM]:
i should have hidden in some corner of the banglore office
GS [5:01 PM]:
why?
SR [5:01 PM]:
then i would never have been roped into client A
GS [5:01 PM]:
hahhah
SR [5:01 PM]:
been two years now :’-(
SR [5:03 PM]:
but shouldnt say anything
SR [5:03 PM]:
you've been in client D for the same time
GS [5:03 PM]:
good relation na with client A :-)
GS [5:03 PM]:
Yes sir
SR [5:03 PM]:
dont need a wife
SR [5:03 PM]:
yet
GS [5:04 PM]:
need a wife
GS [5:04 PM]:
So i have to divorce client D
SR [5:04 PM]:
:-D

geeky IT dudes. We're so cool

This is an endorsement

There. i didn't lead you along.

Well lets see if unconventional advertising works. Shor Bazaar - Might be worth giving them a listen. You could then claim to be one of the original fans when they start raking in the moolah.

Enjoy

Townie

Running around Fort over the last two weekends and you realise how much you relate to that part of town. I moved out of South Bombay some five years ago. However every trip into 'town', as suburbia calls it, leaves you with a good feeling lasting a few days.

No, the town that I know is not the pseudo exotic bull image that people get while reading Shantaram. Yes, there are seedy places about on causeway, but there are seedy places everywhere.

It is the old world charm that you get in the area which is so appealing. The walk from Gateway to Radio Club, sunset at Marine Drive while seated near the Oberoi, roaming around Fort, going up rickety staircases to obscure offices that pay Rs 20 bucks as rent while raking in thousands, the unknown side roads on Mohammed Ali Rd, Kalbadevi Rd. all brilliant.

Then there are monstrosities that the Brits have left us. VT, the buildings along the Oval, Fort as a whole. To me, the ideal picture is one taken from the one end of the Oval, getting the Institute of Science, the University and the High Court in the night when it is all lit up.

Was inside GPO last week. The tall dome, the lazy uncles and aunties at the counters...there is a charm to it. Unlike all us morons in the IT industry staring away at PC screens pretending to work while orkutting. Bah... ended up spoiling a nostalgia post with that. (Follow link...mind blowing video)

Perspective

You'd never think that something as simple as changing glasses would make that much difference. Have changed four cheshmas in the last week. The original one broke, was using a my earlier ones, then got one to get around my blindness and finally got the new pair yesterday

Each change gives a surreal different view. People not wearing glasses will never understand the subtle differences brought about in vision while shifting from one pair to another. Learnt long time ago to not complain to the optician - else be prepared for lamba kahani (Probably came from getting glasses from bawa uncles.) Most of the change comes in the corner of the eye type vision, but even then it is very disconcerting. The best comparison that I can think of is looking through a glass tube. Straight vision fine, the corners all wonky.

Remember the last time I changed glasses. The first day after getting them i was running to catch a train at the station. Misjudged the height of a ledge i tried skipping over, caught my toe just at the corner and ended up sprawled on the platform in peak hour traffic.

No more locals currently, but wierd things could still occur. For now, I got sight! I got sight!

Walker, Pune Ranger

Been on two lightning trips to Pune over the past few weeks. Leave first thing in the morning to return in the night. Have used all modes of transport i could think of in these trips - trains, buses, cars, ricks, tum-tums - basically anything with more than two wheels on.

Add to that loads of good old walking. Must have walked some 15 odd km on these two days. And why did I end up walking so much? True, I do enjoy walking. But then there are limits. The first trip took the Indrayani and went looking for a bank in the wilderness. Only to roam all over Shivaji Nagar. You come across names like Junglee Maharaj (JM) Road which just about makes up for it. Without running into anymore wild roads, but walking along many more - success. Get to work. Waste time there. Walk the 4 odd km to Phase II (stupidly). Waste some more time there. Get an Indica in the evening and get back to Bom.

Next trip take the volvo out to Pune. Get my work done. Catch tum-tum at Hinjewadi. Idiotically don't tell the driver where I want to go. Ended up getting a tour of the fields around Hinjewadi and then somehow land at Gandhi Chowk. No, I have no idea where the hell that is. There however was a board pointing to Chinchwad station. This being the first time I saw clear directions in Pune, I get excited and decide to walk. I then proceed to get Chinchwad gaon ka darshan, all the manufacturing companies out there and the gutters, everything. Few km and a rick later reach the station. Brilliant decision is made to take local to Lonavla. And then catch the Indrayani to bom. While local is stationery at Talegaon, train which looks ominously like the Indrayani passes by. Have chai and vada pav at Lonavla thinking whether this is going to turn into a repeat of Nanjing. Thankfully hear announcement saying the Indrayani is coming in. Relief and the related feelings. Jump into the unreserved and reach home.

Yes. I still like the train ride better than the expressway. If nothing else, for the great views you get. There just is something about the train that just can not be found on the road.

------------------------------------------

Two days in Pune. There just isn't anyone there any longer. People you knew have either ditched or are ditching. Makes you wonder, Why the hell am i still in this organisation?

The lucky traveller

After staying with an expired visa in HK twice, was wondering whether I would have a repeat here.

Me visa was to expire on Saturday, I had no idea about my travel plans till Monday. Contact travel for a ticket back before Saturday telling them the reason clearly. First the chap completely ignores the request. Second, the guy comes back saying the tickets are all waitlisted. Finally, after two days, the chap does come back with a confirmed ticket. Only its on Sunday night, by which time I would have become an illegal migrant in a none too friendly (or so we hear) country.

So there me is sitting completely lost wondering what the hell to do. Get back to travel telling them clearly to get me a ticket leaving latest saturday night. Slowly the tubelight on the end switches on. Says that they will check and let me know. Thus begins two days of frantic calling every few hours to find out whether I have hope or not. Finally thursday night I get a ticket out. Only thing I have to travel via Beijing and I will be leaving Beijing at 0005 on Sunday. Something is better than nothing. Besides I thought I would be completing me emigration formalities in Shanghai in the afternoon and things would be fine.

Come saturday, after all my previous experiences with travel, I decide to leave bright and early for the flight. Booked a taxi to go to the airport. Go down at the appointed time. Wait five minutes. Wait ten. Wait fifteen. Then start getting jumpy. My phone had died out. No one was at home and I had left my key in the house as I was leaving. There I was stranded in the middle of the street with no sight of no taxi and no way to call and find out whether it is coming or not. Trudge off to the estate agents, who are two blocks away, dragging all my baggage. Somehow explain to the agent that I need to make a call, call a taxi and get the agent to tell the taxi waala were I want to go.

So successfully I end up at Shanghai Airport, only to find out that I cant pass emigration there. It will have to be done in Beijing.

With no option, get on the flight to Beijing. Get off at Beijing. No bridge here. Its two degrees C on the tarmac. All the passengers from the flight are hoarded into a bus. Thankful for the warmth from bodyheat stand as the bus then takes all around Beijing airport to arrive at the baggage claim terminal. Pick up bags to go for check in to me next flight. One weird thing, Customs check is done before check-in here. The guy at the check in counter was more worried about me expiring visa than the guy at emigration. Gives me a weird looks and finally gives me a boarding pass. Go and clear emigration at 2300. I am legal for one hour more. Thankfully flight leaves on time and after travelling twelve hours back and forth accross the Asia, I'm back home.

Broke on through

Yes..this one has been in hiding for quite some time. So what have i done since August end when i last reported in? Apart from being buried under at work very little. Though I did manage to get out once in awhile

• A small town called ZhouZhang (atleast thats the best way I can translate the spelling). The town is about one and half hours out from Shanghai. Touted as the Venice of the East, the waterways and small paths are all very viewable. Being a touristy destination though, crowded and noisy.
• The Shanghai Grand Prix. The place where Lewis Hamilton probably threw away the title that was his for the taking. The noise and the smell of gas ... great fun. Realised the quality of Chinese fake merchandise while walking back after the race.
• Nanjing. Probably the best trip I have taken till date. Not just for the place but the circumstances under which it happened and the wierd situtation we found ourselves.
  
  Some background, Nanjing was the capital of China in the early Ming dynasty, before the third Ming emperor decided to move the capital to Beijing. Me and one other guy had only heard about it. One Saturday night at 1230 we were talking about it. The other guy was leaving back to India the next weekend. After 6 months of getting mauled, We wanted to get out and see some China. Decided if we manage to get up early the next day we'll go out to Nanjing
  
  Did manage to get up early and went to Shanghai South Station looking for trains to Nanjing. We were told that there was no return available tickets are available for the onward journey. Asked him how long it would take us to reach there and we were told that it would take two hours. We thought 2 hours by train would be 3 hours by bus at the most. So decided to go anyway.
  
  Get to the correct station and board the train. Soon after the train is chugging along at 249 kmh. This is when the realisation struck that this plcae is pretty far off and we just might not be able to return by us... First thing we do getting out of the train is go look for a return ticket. No english spoken here. Luckily the guy behind us knew some english. Were told no train today, best tickets you can hope for second train out tomorrow morning. No option so we took the tickets. Slightly concerned about the nights stay but we decided to worry about that later. Buy a map and pick out the Zhongshan National Park area.
  
  Probably the best unguided decision we could have made. Autumn was in full bloom and the place was beautiful. The colours, the scenery all awesome. The best part... not so many people about. Peaceful, tranquil and very satisfying. Went walking around the park, visited the tombs and various places inside.
  
  Six hours later, exhausted ,hungry and cold (some 6 degrees C at that time) we come out as the sun sets. We call back to Shanghai to find the address of an Indian restaurant that i remember is there somewhere in Nanjing. Get the address and hurry over to there for dinner. While having dinner, we tell the waiter that we needed a place to stay. He said that the local Chinese waiter will help us find a place to stay nearby.
  
  Calmed and satisfied we have our dinner. After dinner the Chinese waiter takes us to a few hotels. Everywhere we are told " Mayo Passport, Mayo" (loose translation No Passport, Not possible). At 9pm we realise we are in deep in shit and were thinking the only option would be to stay in the station waiting room. Go back to the restaurant and tell the owner of our plight. The chap raises his hands and suggests we take the last train out to Shanghai. As we exit the place the waiter comes up and asks "Aap main se koi Tamil baat karta hai kya?". I said I do Why?. Then the chap says "Chalo, Phir main aapko ek aadmi se milata hun jo aapka shayad madad kare." Me was thinking wtf?
  
  The guy then takes us to a Chinese restaurant nearby where .... a Tamilian is making roti. Stunned I see this chap's lifesize cutout at the entrance and I am left speechless for a few seconds. Finally regaining my senses, me tries my dodgy Tamil and the guy agrees to take us to this contact of his who does not need a Passport for boarding. He says he'll meet us in a couple of hours.
  
  So there we were walking around the streets of Nanjing with our fate in the hand of a Tamilian Roti Maker. The guy comes and takes us to this hotel with an entrance in the rear of a seedy looking building. Inside, decent enough acco for staying a night. Thank our man profusely, sleep and get back to Shanghai the next day in time to see the work go to the dogs again.
• The week after this adventure wanted to go either Beijing or go see the Tennis Masters in Shanghai. Neither happened. Just too tired after the week. The weekend after that was to be my last in China. Me made up my mind to go to Beijing come what may. Others hooked up. However after the Nanjing Experience, no one was willing to take any chances. On short notice flight was out of the question. So took a overnight train. 1400 odd kilometers in about 11 hours on the Z class trains. Very comfartable.
  
  In Beijing, one of our friends in the bank had arranged for a tours for the weekend. Sherman from "Happy Beijing Tour Company Ltd" picked us up at the station and took us to the The Ming Tombs and The Wall. Ming tombs were bit more grander than at Nanjing. However the ones at Nanjing somehow seemed more satisfying. Maybe the less crowd, not being herded around in a tour helped. But somehow just felt better about that visit.
  
  From there to lunch. Thanks to the guide we had a good vegetarian meal. Then off to The Wall. The misty day might have spoiled photos. But standing there on top of the thing, even amongst the crowd, you could not escape the grandeur of the place. A ten metre high 7 metre wide fence built on the edge of hills. Amazing. Any chap who tried to attack this bit of the land must have been straight out of his mind (was told that there were a few of them though). Two hours later we are on our way down. To the hotel and some deserved rest.
  
  Get up early next day and get going to The Forbidden City/ Temple of heaven and The Summer Palace. The forbidden city is a sprawling Palace where the Emperors of China used to stay. Is grand as an ancient monument. The crowds however did not help the feeling there.
  
  After spending a few hours went to the Temple of Heaven, where the emporor's came to pray to the Gods. A single building set in the middle of a forested area, very beautiful.
  
  Finally, the Summer Palace. A palace on the shores of a man made lake. Amazing scenery. Should be visited in the Summer though. Almost froze in the winds coming in over the lake. Cetainly worth a visit.
  
  Went back to see Tiananmen Square in the night. Lit up it is a sight worth seeing. Got back into the train and reached Shanghai the next day.

Even after going to Nanjing and Beijing, you just get the feeling that you have not seen anything of the country. Places like the Huangshan Mountains, Xi'an, Tibet. Just feel like i should have got out more on the weekends. Anyway, Maybe we'll see them sometime in the future...

Taxidriver

Taxi's and taxi drivers make most of me interactions with the people of this town. Going in the morning or returning at the end of a long day, the cabbie says Nihao and something else and then Naadi, Which then is your cue to blurt out where you want to go. Which is where the fun begins

Be prepared to start the usual flailing of the arms. But here you cant help feel that you are a traffic policeman, directing them here there and everywhere. Know the words for right left and straight and the chap immediately assumes that you are an expert in the language.

The other day, on the way to work, I get this hyper talkative chap. Think the guy was giving a load of gaali's under his breadth all the way. At one point there was this truck coming the wrong way up a one way street, chap breaks out into a string of words and then looks at me to respond. Me raises me hands with a look of what i take to be exasperation on me face and we go along. The chap was muttering all the remainder of the way.

And then there was the other day, Chap says something like you Xindian. i had just got on the cab and I thought he was asking whether i wanted to goto Xintiandi (or however you type that) I'm trying to tell him "No want to goto Xujiahui" Repeat this three four times to which the guy goes "Me Chinese, you Indian". Finally dimaag ki batti jali and I say yes yes lets go along. Next signal the guy takes out his bottle and empties his water, turns around and says "Paani nahin hai." Me is sitting there speechless and pretty much looking like a dumb fool staring back at him. Signal changes and we reach Xujiahui. Me says thanks and gets on going.

Fun I tells you.

Mondays

I am slowly beginning to sympathise with Garfield.

First of all its the day after the weekend when you just don't feel like getting up. Secondly things just seem to get weirder on this day. People fear friday the thirteenth, I say fear the vengeful monday morning.

Few weeks ago I got up, went about the usual morning routine. Go in, have a bath and come out. To find the as a room mate put it "Look its the Titanic". Water had overflowed form the drainage outlet to fill bathroom and the living room. So began operation mop up. Get out two mops and soak up the water. End result go into work 45 min late.

Today, get up and about to go in when was very nicely informed that the loo's gone and got choked up. Theres a job for the plumber. Add to that finding out that we have no rice to cook for lunch tho we had made sufficient food the previous

Rather nice mood these things leaves me in the morning.

Well, of we go trying to convince a plumber through gestures that the pot is clogged up. Should be good fun. If not for me...atleast for the innocent by-standers

Back In

A few months ago i thought that i had finally managed to break free. But, by looks of things though, as long as you remain in the organization you can never break free.

Update for the peoples, me is in Cheen, as in Hindi - Cheeni bhai bhai. Been here for a few months now. Any of you planning to end up in this part of the world (I have no idea why you would be) learn some Mandarin. Then give me a shout out. You can then help me understand what the hell people are saying to me.

Don't get me wrong, the people are generally helpful, just there is this very large language barrier. You want to get something across to a local and you start thinking that you should have been mime. Get into the taxi and you feel that you've become a traffic policeman. One of these days they going to arrest me for flailing me arms in a dangerous manner. Wait, this aint the US.

So anyway, onwards we go.

Back to base

Been back in Bangalore (or is that Bengaluru) for the past two weeks. One year and the bloody town goes and changes on you. For one the traffic jams are now bearable. Hosur Road no longer is the hell hole where for every 100m of motion you would wait 10 min stationary. Flyovers that were being constructed forever got finished. Even new flyovers havent effected the traffic (that much). And the BMTC has introduce brillaint AC buses.

The day to day food around has improved. Atleast I haven't found coconut in everything. The north indian dishes are passably north indian.

But somethings don't change. Work is a pain in the everything. Bangaloreans are as laid back as ever. The city centre still has the greenery about.

Back. Lets see how things go


----

All your base are belong to us

First in Not Last Out

Not sure that anyone's been bitten by a leach. Supposedly once they get their grip going they suck till the last drop or drown from drinking too much blood. Only way to get them of be to burn them

Well me has gone and burned the bloody leaches at site of me skin finally. For now atleast. Hopefully it can be made permanent. Only time will tell. Next need to find a way to get the other leaches off.

in your face turds...I'm still Alive.

Horse Racing

Annual ratings nikla? Thats (and its variations in other languages) all that I've been hearing the past few weeks at work. So finally they are out

Highest rating mila?

Acha, to kya karega?

Wohi hamaal giri?

Mast hai...

What difference the ratings make is a mystery. Only thing that they really seem to be doing is bolster your diminishing ego.

They should start a sweepstakes to see who gets what. The unpredictability will atleast provide more fun than our glorious cricket team...

On the Gravy Train...

You know when people say that there is a presence about a place...what do you call the opposite of that feeling? Things are just going as normal...then suddenly out of the blue.. you are hit with the feeling that there is something missing...call it the Absence?

Had the absence kind of feeling yesterday...was on my way back ...reach Sion....suddenly things seem different...seems much quiter...a eerie sort of silence ..like someone has flicked a switch which kicked in a filter to block out certain frequencies.. was wondering for a few minutes what the crap was going on...then it kicked in..all the fans in the compartment had gone off..amazing how that subtle drop in background noise can affect you..

-----------------------

At the other end of the decibel counter are the morons at Dadar hawking away...Was sprinting from western to the central side at 1 in the morning the other day to catch the last train when this idiot with a megaphone (for real) gets in my way brandishing a book..."Hare Krishna! Why dont you buy the Bhagvad Gita?"

If I had the time I would have asked him why doesnt he shove that megaphone down his windpipe...Wanted to ask him whether he was bloody blind or he could not see tht there were a sum total of ten ppl on the bridge..and not one in the mood to listen to him..What really stuns me is that the guy actually expected me to stop

Well its appraisal time ... looks like god needs to meet targets...

And did we tell you the name of the game, boy,
we call it Riding the Gravy Train.

Reminiscences

Nine months back to the day I was sitting in Bangalore airport after missing me flight contemplating whether me should go back and get me shoes...looking at the line for check in i decided that i would leave them there...thinking where they going to go in a couple of months...got onto a propeller aircraft with me two pieces of hand luggage and made my way over

Well...lets hope they are still there...without any cockroaches/mice/frogs etc in them. Meanwhile i have learnt a few things here

• first and foremost a game called mail...this essentially involves people with highly inflated egos going for each others throats using e-mail. Rules of the game...only one...i am right you are wrong...grammar...non existent...the challenge...to find obscure reasons to blame the other ...or better yet..to push work on the other...everyone must take part...sadly...me wasnt much good at it

• you can give the AVP of the company an earful...only you willl get that back and more when your boss hears of it

• people have a far more extensive vocabulary than you would ever expect..especially when they realise that a mistake has happened

• it is great fun having a go at vendors...especially when you yourself represent one and the other has no clue what you are on about...you can claim that your operations are based out of Outer Mongolia and charge extra for whale oil to heat the place and get away with it

Now let me go check if someone has got a thesis out on the decomposition of leather

Run...Forest...Runnn...

Saw this video after a long time the other day...that got me thinking...has anyone attempted a full speed sprint across the main bridge at Dadar at say 11 am? Is it even possible?

Me is willing to pay for lunch for anyone who manages to get from one end of the thing to the other in 15s ... the only thing...is you'll have to find me to get the lunch if you do manage to..

Lost arts...

A friend of mine sent me to this site which has a pretty intersting theme to it...the world cup in ascii art..

Got home and later in the night our good friend google throws up this...where i find this...some people really have way too creative minds with tooo much free time on their hands...

spectacular...visit...especially if you are absolutely pakaoed and at work...