Reminiscences

Nine months back to the day I was sitting in Bangalore airport after missing me flight contemplating whether me should go back and get me shoes...looking at the line for check in i decided that i would leave them there...thinking where they going to go in a couple of months...got onto a propeller aircraft with me two pieces of hand luggage and made my way over

Well...lets hope they are still there...without any cockroaches/mice/frogs etc in them. Meanwhile i have learnt a few things here

• first and foremost a game called mail...this essentially involves people with highly inflated egos going for each others throats using e-mail. Rules of the game...only one...i am right you are wrong...grammar...non existent...the challenge...to find obscure reasons to blame the other ...or better yet..to push work on the other...everyone must take part...sadly...me wasnt much good at it

• you can give the AVP of the company an earful...only you willl get that back and more when your boss hears of it

• people have a far more extensive vocabulary than you would ever expect..especially when they realise that a mistake has happened

• it is great fun having a go at vendors...especially when you yourself represent one and the other has no clue what you are on about...you can claim that your operations are based out of Outer Mongolia and charge extra for whale oil to heat the place and get away with it

Now let me go check if someone has got a thesis out on the decomposition of leather

Run...Forest...Runnn...

Saw this video after a long time the other day...that got me thinking...has anyone attempted a full speed sprint across the main bridge at Dadar at say 11 am? Is it even possible?

Me is willing to pay for lunch for anyone who manages to get from one end of the thing to the other in 15s ... the only thing...is you'll have to find me to get the lunch if you do manage to..

Lost arts...

A friend of mine sent me to this site which has a pretty intersting theme to it...the world cup in ascii art..

Got home and later in the night our good friend google throws up this...where i find this...some people really have way too creative minds with tooo much free time on their hands...

spectacular...visit...especially if you are absolutely pakaoed and at work...

It got dark...

...and darker still....till it was night...

Then...at the precise moment when me stepped out to have dinner...the
sky came tumbling down...not exactly...but it did start pouring..

Seemed like the gods had decided to to take out their frustration on
me...each time me was not under cover it poured...walking from office
to lower parel station...station to home...end result one very
drenched me by the time he gets home...

Hell...who cares...its been a while since me got meself
drenched...anyone has a football...or better yet...a frisbee?

A different world

Actually left work while there was still some natural light about yesterday...Got on a fast back from Dadar...lost track of the stations passing by and realised i'd missed my stop only when i reached Thane...so back we go

Coming out at my station...me's initially not sure whether i've gotten of at the right place...loads of ppl abt, the shops all open and brightly lit...totally disoriented...somehow managed to get back home

looks like you dont need hash...altering timings is enough...

Pitter-patter

Woke up the other day and couldnt believe it was 8....nce and thought it was the sunrise..checked clock and got up...opened blinds to see a cloudy day...with promise of rain..and it did...in the afternoon

Been sitting in a mill..Modified redone and all that...but without any false roofing etc....suddenly it goes all dark..and hear this massive sound....look up see the rain through the skylight...the sound...closest i can think of is possibly a bass drum on reverb...

I wonder how the chaps who used to work here earlier used to do there
work with the machines and the noise in the monsoons

So its women's day...

....That explains why me day has gone to the dogs....

Ended up having a three and half hour conference call with ppl at work starting yest midnight.....follow that up with reaching work early and leaving late.....

Ok I got cake at work out of it....an altogether wonderful day...

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I got fire....I got fire...

The week just gone by....

Monday morning get up a bit late...was supposed to go in in the
morning....was leaving home at 830....when i get call....where the
crap are you....get work as soon as possible..listen to the
pm...put mobile in pocket...get on bus...get off bus...check
pockets...no mobile...

Tuesday.....miracle happens....i reach work before 9....am dazed for
the rest of the day

Wednesday...reach at around 930...go have breakfast...come back..see
mail from PM asking to meet her...go thinking i'm going to get crap
for not doing any work...sit down...she asks...how you feel about a 1
month...max two month stint in Bombay...me
thinking...huh...where did that come from...think abt for a
moment...then signed me own death warrant by saying yes....am told i
have to leave asap...if possible get there by tomorrow morning....put
in a travel request...get tickets to travel by the 9pm flight to
Bombay...am told this is a EMEA/ES project by the new PM who is in
Pune in the afternoon...leave work at 7....reach home at 830...chuck
my clothes into a bag...reach airport at 855...to b told that i
have missed flight....again...

This is where Thursday comes in...run around at the various airline
counters in Bangalore Airport...to be told that only Jet has a flight
by which i can even hope to get to Bombay in time for Thursday
morning...buy ticket....leave Bangalore at 12...reach bombay at
2...home at 230...sleep...and am of to Lower Parel at 9am....come home
i think at 1030...eat...sleep...

Friday...home....work...home...sleep...

Saturday...wait today is saturday right?
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Guess who's back
Back again
Shady's back
Tell a friend

No longer...

Back to homeland....atleast for a few weeks...

Rant....Rant....Rant....

Sri Sri Ravishankar has decided to descend on this town....Him and his legions of followers....I land on Monday and the first thing i see as i am exiting the ariport is this desk set up to help 'devotees' ...behind them this massive hoarding ...4000 thousand buses have been engaged to pick and drop ppl...largest collection of musicians anyone has ever seen...over 2 lakh people attending his rally...

Now the question that comes to mind is....How many chutiya's are there in this world? Do you really need to go some hack to help clear your mind...wont just five minutes sitting and thinking calmly help you?...NO....it has to be packaged and branded as some shitall course...the yuppies lap it all up...then the rest of the chutiya world take it up...

Whats with this town anyway....last year Benny Hinn...this year this idiot...next year who? Osama? thats probably the only way the yanks will catch him....

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On a side note, got on the pubilc bus(one the few that werent drafted for the grand rally) to get to work today...the crowd dwindles...and there right acrross the aisle...there be this chap with a kid in his hands...not bacha type kid....but the goats offspring types...i cant remember ever seeing a dog/cat in a BEST bus...cows all over the road and cattle in the busses...where am i? Lalooland?

12° 8' N 77° 37' E

me...bangalore...booo...hiss...

not really

18° 56' N 72° 51' E

Me....bombay...home...yay

Moo Tales....

An IAS candidate once wrote:

He is the cow. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is four footed. And because he is female, he give milks, but will do so when he is got child. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.....(full text here)

I just wonder...has this person been charged at by one of the species while standing in the middle of nowhere? Was waiting for the bus to come the other day when i see this blasted cow decide that it likes the look of the grass on this side of the road. From its warped perspective the grass must have seemed to be on the move...so it decides that it must charge accross before it gets away...Me just stands there thinking 'Hmmm...i should move out the way...'as it charges past... what i want to know is how something that size dont get hit while going for a blind charge...me feels inspired...maybe me should try it sometime...probability must favour me...

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Another day...was going to get on the bus to get to work...this is when this blasted cow that was lounging nearby decides that just has to sit in front of bus door...should i read that as an omen? an animal as sacred as a cow is blocking my way to work....who am i to challenge the Gods...

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You Holy Cow
The telegraph pole knows where
It knows where you live
You Holy Cow
I'll get it to take me there
And shout abuse at your window

No....I aint stoned...

And its 1...

...year since i came to this town...

While coming back home the day before I went for one of me random walks...walking from Palace Grounds...thought I'd get to Shivaji Nagar and get some transport from there onward home..

Walking...I suddenly realise i dont know where the crap I am...and this being Bangalore there is not a soul on the bloody road after 10 to ask for directions...unless you count the dogs...but sadly cant communicate with dogs...so just continue walking in what I think is the general direction that I want to take...15 fifteen minutes gone...there must be something that I recognise...five minutes later...wokay...where shit am I...go on...a fork in the road..now what...ah theres a bank up there..it'll tell me the area i'm in...Miller Road...where the f%#k is that..screw it just take the right fork...10 mins later a police station...Bharathi Nagar police chowky...what...follow the road...get to a crossroads...praise the lord...there's an empty rick ..make sure that he aint out to fleece me..give him directions...rick starts...100m on I pass the hotel where I had stayed when I first came here last year.

Coincidence or what.

Random Thoughts

Well

Its more than a year to the day since many of us got our marching orders to various places round the country...in some of our cases only to be booted of some place else...or back to where we came from...looking back....the wild haggling for a swap seems like madness...but its all done and burried.

This day last year was the last day of training for many of us...remember that we found out that it was Pusalkar's birthday and some of us Infy ppl ended up running around the campus trying to catch him and give him bumps...come to think of it...did we?

So its one year of being a full fledged "Professional"....now what does it feel like?

To me...nothing...no sense of accomplishing anything...just plodded along doing just about what needs to be done when the time came. All the talk of meeting life head on and similar crap just seems to be a load of bull. I really dont think that I am any different from what I was a year back....the same old slightly peeved slightly uncertain wierdo from Bombay

The next year begins....lets see whats in store for us....for atleast two it seems to be starting off rather well.....

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Dont know....but think this fits in here....

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, Thought I'd something more to say.

(c) Pink Floyd

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I know....probably not what most people wanted to read the first thing in the morning...but what the hell...

And no...I dont have suicidal tendencies....

A few more pics from Bangalore this time around here

Its a miracle

Well...went out to Madras two weekends back...saw the reports of rain and what not...but was still skeptical...was silently giving gaali's at the thought of eating dust on the trip there...then dehydrating to the extent of braking into the component amino acids...but NO...it had actually rained in the barren land...i cant say that it was cold...for the first time that I can remember there was no oppressive heat...you could actually sleep

And there was water coming out of the taps

Praise the rain gods....now....Stop for craps sake....

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Also a piece of advice...do not travel by rick at 6 in the morning in winter. Has been attempted twice...once in Pune last year and couple weeks back in Bangalore...surpirsed that me has not lost any limbs to frostbite...yet.

Wimps

One gets the feeling that Bangalore is filled with wimps....

It rained...rather drizzled all through the weekend....and the entry point to Hosur Road got flooded...So come yesterday morning when the horde was moving towards Electronic City they come across a 100 foot stretch of 2.5 feet of water..vehicles were diverted...some ppl ended up visting the National park on there way to office...

There were reports that it would rain again in the evening...so there was a mass evacuation of electronics city in the afternoon...rumours say that Wipro has given the rest of the week off....

Anyway....on the way back the 2.5 feet had reduced to 2 feet...but everyone got through....no rain...and thats that

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it's like you're waiting for a diamond shore to wash your way
bets put aside, you're evil
let's crawl into your face
a vision, vague or not, raising a frightful wake-you-up
time for...
evacuation
evacuation
evacuation

uhmm...

Well…I’m back….one fifteeth chink…but back I am…

Though that almost did not occur….

I was told on Friday to go get the hell out of the country…Now…my ticket was valid only on Taipei – Bangalore…that too only till 30 Sep…So when I call up the travel desk asking them to book my ticket they tell me it is not possible…you will have to raise a new travel request…It is way out of your budget and similar rot...Basically were telling me to goto hell…

Saturday was a public holiday in Hong Kong….Chinese Liberation day or some such rot…so all travel agents closed…frantic searching of airline offices result in zilch...finally reach through to Singapore Airlines reservation number…only to be very bluntly told that there are no vacant seats for travel on Monday...Next try Thai…you have a confirmed booking from Hong Kong to Bangkok….but Bangkok – Bangalore sector is unavailable…contemplate giving gaalis to the twat on the phone…but leave it…next try Cathay…seats vacant HK – Singapore – Bangalore …I’m thinking good…but the ticket will be issued only till 1pm…have to rush across the Harbour to get to the ticketing office…reach there at 1230…stand in queue get to the counter…only to realize I don’t have the cash…female there says you can come tomorrow and pay for you ticket….asgfasdgfnak…

Next day go get the ticket do some random roaming about the city after which I return at abt 12…cook…eat…pack..sleep at round 5…

Monday morning….get up at 1015..think crap...i’m screwed…needed to buy some stuff…go searching for the stuff..time 1215…ok…goto bank to say that I’m leaving, settle dues etc…time 1330….collect lunch…get going towards home ..time 1415…realize that the stuff I bought needs to be packed ...1417..start packing 1418…end packing 1425…get all the stuff down from the 19th floor to ground floor 1430…hail taxi to airport 1435…arrive at airport 1605…

Flight leaves 1550

So there I was in Chep Lai Kok International Airport Hong Kong…calmly contemplating the next outburst…goto the ticketing counter…am initially told no free flights to Bangalore till thu……After the female searches the damn system for some 15 min she comes with a flight that is going to Delhi at 2335…from there you will have to book your ticket to Bangalore…decide to take the risk…loaf about the airport for 7 hours…get on flight arrive in Delhi at 3am…clear customs etc and arrive at delhi domestic at 4am…bheek maangofied at the various airline counters for the cheapest ticket that i could find…finally caught flight at 710 and reached home in Bangalore at 11

Thus ends the tale of one slightly drowsy traveler….

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do not attempt to go here if you are on a dial up connection…

Guandu

....no....i'm not giving the lot of you gaali's for no reason.....that would be too crass....

No....Guandu is the name of a place in Taiwan very close to Taipei....there is a water park there....i tell you....if you dont know how to swim dont goto a waterpark....almost drowning the first time you hit water is not a very pleasant experience....come down slide after your arse has not been in contact with blasted thing for half the ride and then you hit the water...you go under....you get disoriented....is this up...or is this down....one of those boxes with this side up was found wanting....so after floundering about in the water for a few moments...hand touches floor...you push in the direction that you think is up and....get more disoriented...finally somehow you get up and then you realise the bloody water is only till chest level....and you walk out.... Well did that last weekend i was in Taiwan....repeatedly....so that is that.....

Seems Disneyland is going to open in Hong Kong....me thinks that me is too cheap to go there....

Later..

Versioning

Let me give you a brief introduction into how the management in this BU works....

Well....the maximum duration of my stay on my present visa will expire on 31st. Normally people in my situation who have multiple entry visas run off to Hong Kong for a weekend and return to spend another 60 days in this hell hole. Well i dont...so i told me manager so...

So here is when he comes out and says "But i had planned for you to stay there for a few months more, you should have told me before." Had told him previously. Blasted maroon...wat does he expect me to do....take my visa and stick it down his throat or something? So he asks me to go enquire if it is possible to get the visa renewed here itself....This is version 1....

Next day...me checks with the local people and they tell me that it is not possible to get it done in Taiwan. Manager dejectedly says....fine...goto to India get a Multiple Entry visa.....This is Version 2...

Later in the evening....frantic call from manager..."I checked with people who have just returned from HK...it seems you can get visa there....confim with people presently in HK....if possible you can go to Hong Kong for a weekend and get the visa...."....this is version 3....or should we call it 2.1.2a....

Check next morning...am told that you can get a business visa for Taiwan in HK only if you already have a business visa for HK...return back to manager with this information...he says ok...seems no way abt it...go back...but you have to come back in 1 week.....version 4....or reconciliation to verson 2

Tuesday morning one confirms with manager about travel back to india...he says go ahead...Talk to female at visa dept back in Bangalore....she cribs abt getting multiple entry...tell her me needs it...and that is that...

Tuesday evening...i get a call...pick up....and its the manager....yay....now he tells me that ppl in taiwan are considering whether they need ppl there...you come to HK for now...if taiwan says they dont need then you will spend a few months in Hong Kong....else travel back in mid september to india get visa...run to Taiwan.....too confused to give a version now....

have been booked on flight to HK on 31st...

this is as of today....nay now...discussion b/w resp managers going on today....till then in limbo we remain....woohoo.....

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meanwhile....
Jojuwan.......jojuwan....jojuwan,yojuwan,jojuwan......
translate that....should be pretty simple...